Find Your Inner Peace & Hold Your People Close

I’ve had the idea of writing a post about wellness for a while due to personal experiences. I sat down yesterday and started thinking about the different ideas I’ve had and how to tackle them. I thought about the changes I’ve been going through; the different accomplishments, as well as the hardships. I also thought about what has been going on in the United States these past couple of days. The topic I kept going back to is the importance of support systems because they absolutely affect our mental, emotional, and physical health.

I’ve always been very grateful for those who have stood by my side throughout the positive and negative times in my life. I have always felt very lucky to have my family and close friends because they have always encouraged me to pursue my dreams regardless of the amount of time it would take or how hard it would be. They’ve kept me grounded and realistic. They are my levelheaded cheerleaders. But why does this matter to others? Why would people want to read about my personal experience or experiences and about the people in my corner?

All of this pondering made me realize just how universally positive support systems are. They are essential to people whether they be facing positive or negative chapters in their lives. People may not realize it, but support systems are a necessity in every culture, country, community, and for every individual. People are even coming together today to support a cause and a race. Support systems do not have to only be made up of family and close friends. So, here’s my story.

A couple years ago, I had become a person I was not proud of. I was very negative, self-focused, stressed, way too blunt, and non-empathetic. But at the same time, I felt that it was up to me to always fix everything. At first, I started pushing strangers away. I no longer felt comfortable just socializing, which wasn’t something I used to have an issue with. Then, I started doing it to my friends simply because I didn’t agree with their choices. I never talked to them about it. I just isolated myself. Soon enough, I started doing it with my family. I would have a very short fuse, would constantly voice my opinions in not a very nice way, and I’d never smile. I had noticed certain feelings I had been having, but I figured they’d disappear once I started completing the prerequisites for vet school. They didn’t. Instead, they just kept building up because I was still only preparing for something I wanted to do. I still wasn’t doing what I loved.

One person that helped start the chain reaction of changes in my life was my sister, Vanessa – who as we speak, is holding my puppy over her sink because she started to have an accident. I started talking to her about all of the different ways I felt each day, my different interactions with people, what I was learning, etc. If you know her, it’s no surprise that she told me all of the mistakes I was making throughout my days. At first, it was very aggravating. I thought she had a heart of stone and had no idea what she was talking about. Later on, I started reflecting on things and figured out she was right.

My conversations with Vanessa kept going for a few months, and then I started speaking to my mom. She started noticing different things as well and would mention them to me in a nicer way. After a few weeks, I had chosen to find a psychologist who could help me cope with all of my negativity and anxiety. On the days I’d second guess myself and my worth, my mom and my sister would constantly reassure me that seeing a psychologist didn’t make me weak or weird and that most people could really benefit from one. The days I didn’t want to study more and kept asking what the point was, there they were again reassuring me. Even my sister, Tatiana, called me on the phone to give it to me straight. She told me to not give up my dream just because it was difficult and to just keep going instead of giving up, not applying to vet school, and just working in marketing or finance.

A full year has now passed, and my mindset has greatly changed. I no longer feel that I have a negative aura around me. I accepted that most of things going wrong in my life were my fault and that it is all about the point of view I have towards things. I realized that changes had to start within myself before they could be expanded outward. It’s not my job to fix everything and others. I only have to fix myself and do my best, and that is something I think we need to keep in mind today. We need to do our best to help ourselves before we can help others. We need to find inner peace before trying to spread it to the masses. Once we start with ourselves, things will just change on their own. Many other things took place throughout this past year to make me who I am today, but I don’t think it’s as important as what I just said.

I cannot imagine how different my life would be had I not had my support system cheering me on every step of the way. Would I be alone? Would I be a more negative person? Would I have even gotten into vet school? I cannot imagine my life without them. Can you imagine your life without your support system? Without your family or friends?

Try to picture being forced to live without them because that’s what’s happening around the world. People are losing family members and friends due to violence, injustices, and many more negative actions around the world, not just the United States. How would you get by if you were forced to live in fear without people to stand by you? I cannot imagine it.

My hope is that this post will inspire others to think about how they can support others in a positive way without being violent. I hope it will make them reflect on their own support systems, which will lead to gratitude and a more positive mentality. Maybe… just maybe… people thinking in a more positive, grateful, and understanding way will lead to diminished violence and negativity. Being around a more positive environment and having that steady support system definitely made a difference for me.